Florence Williams explores the fascinating, cutting-edge science of heartbreak while seeking creative ways to mend her own.
When her twenty-five-year marriage unexpectedly falls apart, journalist Florence Williams expects the loss to hurt. What she doesn’t expect is that she’ll end up in the hospital, examining close-up the way our cells listen to loneliness. She travels to the frontiers of the science of “social pain” to learn why heartbreak hurts so much and why so much of the conventional wisdom about it is wrong.
Searching for insight as well as personal strategies to game her way back to health, Williams tests her blood for genetic markers of grief, undergoes electrical shocks in a laboratory while looking at pictures of her ex, and ventures to the wilderness in search of awe as an antidote to loneliness. For readers of Wild and Lab Girl, Heartbreak is a remarkable merging of science and self-discovery that will change the way we think about loneliness, health, and what it means to fall in and out of love.
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Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey
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Annie –
When my husband left me after forty years of marriage for a much younger workplace colleague–he was her supervisor–I was physically devastated for months. I’ve been an athlete my whole life, I have given talks to audiences of a hundred, I travel regularly alone, but my entire body was filled with shaking and anxiety, things I had never before experienced. I felt as fragile as an eggshell, my ribs seemed to constrict my breathing, I felt constantly physically vulnerable, and any thought about money or my future filled me with terror, which I felt in my body more than my mind. I gradually found through trial and error many of the healing measures Florence Williamson found through her scientific research, but reading her book allowed me to understand more fully why I felt as I did and how I managed to heal, notably a trip that challenged me in many ways, forcing me to confront my fears, reconnect with my capabilities, courage, and curiosity, as did her river trip. I read a bunch of books about betrayal and divorce several years ago when all this happened to me, but none so thoroughly and intelligently addressed what I went through and what I needed to know. And Williams is a wonderful witty author who manages to write about real emotional (and physical) pain with depth and humor, able at avoiding any hint of whining or bitterness. (Some self-pity she allows herself, appropriately. I feel blessed that I found this book.
Jimmy McC –
One of the best science journalists writing today, Florence Williams has outdone herself with this one. While detailing her own devastating marital breakup and her efforts to heal, she explores the science behind why breakups hurt so much and what recent research can tell us about how to leave the pain behind. Williams is funny and frank and breathtakingly brave, using her own experience in the service of a fast-moving tale that can help us all deal with the various forms of heartbreak we inevitably encounter in our lives.
L. Jensen –
I purchased this audiobook last night, expecting to listen for a half hour or so and then go to bed. I couldn’t stop listening, though, and am already over three hours in. I’ll update this review when I finish the book but want to say for now that it is the most unique audiobook I’ve ever listened to. The style is reminiscent of a really well produced podcast like, say, TED Radio Hour. The author’s narration is great and is interspersed with clips from her conversations and audio notes as well as music and other background sounds. Her writing style is conversational and witty, and the content shifts back and forth beautifully from deeply intimate memoir to carefully crafted science reporting. It’s a gem and I’m so excited to keep listening!
sherry cormier –
As a bereavement trauma specialist and grief author, and a fan of Ms. Williams The Nature Fix book, I couldn’t wait to read my copy of Heartbreak. It did not disappoint! The kind of heartbreak that the author discusses in this book, both personally and scientifically, is related to and yet distinct from grief. They overlap in many significant ways. I was most interested in the information conveyed in Heartbreak about the impact of heartbreak on the body. As great as talk therapy can be, only when we also deal with heartbreak at a physiological level, can healing truly occur. In addition, her personal journey of healing from heartbreak in nature was fascinating and could be so helpful to her readers. I highly recommend Heartbreak as sooner or later, we all experience significant loss in one way or another.
Grace –
I learned more about myself and the roots of sadness from reading this book than decades of experience with therapists, and in recent years with trauma specialists. It’s made clear a path, not discussed in traditional therapy, to being able to recover from a broken heart.
Whether new to trying therapies or different modalities for healing the heart, or have had unfulfilling therapy results, this book gives new perspective/hope and is highly recommended reading.
Erica S. Perl –
Full disclosure: I know the author personally and I read some passages of this book during the drafting phase. However, when I read the published book, I was completely blown away by it. Florence Williams is such a smart and curious person, and such a brave and honest writer that I feel like I shouldn’t have been surprised that she was able to create a book that is equal parts fascinating scientific journey and heart-breakingly honest chronicle of personal loss. It’s an ambitious project and one that succeeds on all levels. I also learned that she created an enhanced audiobook that includes interviews with many of the people who appear in the book (both in a professional and personal capacity), so now I am planning to get that and listen to it, even though I’ve already read the book. I have never done that before, which should give you an idea of how impressed I am with this work. I also loved her previous book, THE NATURE FIX, so if you haven’t read that, add it to your stack as well!
Leah –
Love this!
First, the audiobook is awesome, the author reads this very funny, very personal book herself, and includes recordings of herself and her interviewees. It’s great to have these cut in – and they made me feel very much on the exploration with her to the point that I have laughed, cried and gasped with empathy.
Second, the brain is fascinating, and this is really the frontier of brain/body research and human health.
Finally, this book is really universal. I’m not recovering from heartbreak, but I found it relevant, thought provoking and wise.
Cheryl L. –
The author explains a situation many of us have found ourselves in at one time or another. It is clearly written, interesting and provides many ‘aha’ moments. It goes way beyond being a self-help book!!
John Matzger –
The science, the honesty and the lack of gamesmanship was phenomenal! What a treat to take this journey with the author.
katie –
I love this book, it is beautifully written, & it gave me a renewed sense of hope for life. Thank you Florence Williams.
Review4U –
I was on the wait list when I saw this book was released in the UK and was anxious to get it here. It arrived on time and cost less than when originally ordered. It is a Great book that combines a great plot and story line about having ones heartbroken and the scientific healing she pursued. I highly recommend this as it is a good read. Book is a little heavy to hold so make sure you have a place to lean it on and a good nightlight which you can also buy here on inlori. Happy Reading!!
LHC –
This beautifully written book took me along for the ride of a healing journey – I couldn’t put it down! Even though I know how our emotional and mental health plays a role in our physical health, I have never taken the time to investigate why! Thank goodness Florence Williams did! She took me through the science with humor and humility and her path of healing was relatable because she needed to understand why she felt this way. I connect with that. The lessons she shared remind me that the journey is the answer. I loved her honesty, following where her curiosity led her to next and most importantly I was inspired by her courage, strength and bravery to keep moving. Loved it from beginning to end!
Alfred Dreyfus Samuelson –
This is a book written with humor, clarity, insight and – yes, alot of really fascinating scientific information. The personal aspect of the book brings all of that information to the fore in a manner that is compelling and poignant. This is a book I will give as a gift to friends who are going through break-ups, and to clients who are struggling through a divorce. Readers will feel they get to know Florence Williams and consequently their experience of the book will be much more than interesting – it will be an empathic resource for them to draw from as they recover from their own heartbreaks. — Lisa
Rob V –
This is first and foremost a memoir. But the author is a science journalist, and so she explores her pain with us under the lenses of psychologists, neuroscientists, and social scientists. I came at this book from a different, but related, form of heartbreak – the loss of my wife and life partner of forty-six years to cancer – wanting to understand what was happening to my mind and body in the aftermath. Of the seven or eight books on grief I have read (or at least started to read), this book had more data related to my symptoms than all the others combined (some had no data at all, just anecdote and opinion). And, as we should expect from a professional writer, it is exceptionally well written. As a lifelong hiker and canoeist and lover of wilderness, I also appreciated her perspective on the healing powers of nature, which I have found to be restorative on my own post-traumatic journey. I recommend this book for those of you on your own journeys through heartbreak and loneliness.
Tracey –
I loved this book so much. Williams is simply a brilliant writer. Her unconventional and deeply personal approach to researching the science of heartbreak through a truly brave examination of her own broken heart (and its gradual, difficult healing) was simply fascinating. The book made me think, laugh, and educated me (in the best kind of way) – as well as putting a desert river rafting trip on my bucket list. (Btw, I read that the audio version, narrated by the author with extra material from her journals, etc. is amazing.)
Roberta Record –
Very interesting book – formatted uniquely. I enjoyed it!
Rachel Walker –
I was up reading this incredible book by my friend @florence999 nearly half the night. It’s a fascinating read on the scientific, emotional, and physical truths of heartbreak and healing. Anyone who has ever lost something or someone, been rejected, had their heart broken will see themselves in this book. But it’s not a tear jerker!!! Florence is hilarious and astute, and she manages to write about science in the most accessible, applicable way. Some science writers want to let the reader know how smart they are. This is NOT Florence. She wants you to know why she’s curious and how she scratches that curiosity itch.
I’ll be recommending this book for a long time. It’s really good.
Bonnie K Creech, Ph.D. –
This was the best and most informative book I’ve read on this topic.
Karen K –
Divorce is gut wrenching. There will be pieces that for women, whether married or in a relationship, they will identify with. This author takes us on her personal journey from the moment she realized her marriage had cracks that she tried to patch, to where she come to rely on her outdoor roots to experience the changes her life would go through. She discovered who she truly is, where her inner strength was and just how powerful that connection would come to be. Such a moving story.
dalvera –
Book arrived promptly, packaged well, and in good/new condition. Thank you!
Jade Spade –
Such a beautiful memoir! I devoured this one in under 24 hours. SO helpful for navigating a broken heart and understanding what’s happening in the body.
loves color –
I found truth and healing in her story, but her use of psychedelic drugs (under the direction of a doctor) bothered me. It may just be leftover 1970’s stigma, so I’m going to read more about the benefits and the way it’s being used to help people.
Kelsey Crowe –
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It offers such an honest account of emotional pain alongside clear and clever explanations of science behind such pain; while never reducing emotional pain to just it’s mechanical parts. A real unique and valuable book.
LL Kirchner –
Florence Williams has accomplished the extraordinary with this book, bringing her incisive reportage to her experience with heartbreak.
If that weren’t enough, she answered questions I didn’t know I had. In particular, why is it that some of us experience these ruptures for longer than others? And what can we do about it?
I highlighted almost every page!
Kallie Kull –
Read this book just in time… It saved me a lot of heartbreak in the end! Thank you to the author and all of the contributors to her research.
Keepa –
Love, it’s both the best and worst thing in our lives. When we are in a happy relationship all is well but why is it when a relationship goes away why do we feel terrible both mentally and physically? Florence Williams takes a very unique journey to understand what our bodies go through after a breakup/divorce. Through this book you see along sider her just how little we know about what happens within bodies during these times and how it can affect how we feel both mentally and physically. Florence will talk to those scientist who thought to research this underrepresented field of study and what we know so far. This book may help answer some questions you have about yourself as you deal with a breakup of any kind of relationship. This book was writing just before the COVID pandemic so at the time of writing this review the studies and efforts talked about in this book are recent. I would highly recommend this book to anyone interested in how heartbreak affects you.